


check me off your list

by queer_esque



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oblivious, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 20:40:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19410991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queer_esque/pseuds/queer_esque
Summary: Before he can find the paperwork, though, he finds something else. In Enjolras’ neat, unmistakable handwriting, it says,Confront GrantaireGrantaire blinks, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. That’s it – simply ‘Confront Grantaire’.There is no checkmark – of course not, Grantaire feels very unconfronted – but it’s there.Or, where Grantaire finds an item concerning him on Enjolras' to-do list and comes to all the wrong conclusions.





	check me off your list

Enjolras has mastered to-do lists in a way that Grantaire can never hope for.

He’s tried, that’s for sure: especially when he has commissions, it would be great to have something akin to a schedule to work with, and he’s definitely tried. But, just like he tried to-do lists in his brief stint in college, he ends up just ignoring them and doing – or not doing – the work at the last minute.

Enjolras is the complete opposite from Grantaire in that way. His to-do lists seem to span over miles and they always have check marks all over them. If it’s on his to-do list, Enjolras does it.

Grantaire wonders when he sleeps.

Some of the things on Enjolras’ to-do lists, from the few times Grantaire has thrown a peek at them, also comes from his work for Senator Lamarque, but it’s also a lot of things for Les Amis and just free-lance work too.

He never tries to examine them too closely, they make his head spin: not only from all the work that Enjolras apparently gets done in a day but also because it feels kind of domestic to look at them and that’s dangerous.

So when he visits the Musain outside of meeting times to meet with Enjolras and work on some flyers, he’s surprised to find only Enjolras’ stuff and open calendar at the table, as well as an apologetic Musichetta.

“He said he had some sort of paperwork to pick up from the office? I don’t quite remember, but he said it’s extremely important and time sensitive, but he’d be right back.”

Grantaire nods and orders a coffee for himself and then, before he can have second thoughts, he orders one of those ridiculously sweet concoctions that Enjolras is addicted to as well. Then he sits, takes a sip of his own coffee (Enjolras’ devil’s brew is placed at a safe distance away) and checks Enjolras’ to-do list for what kind of paperwork he has to pick up.

He tries not to feel bad about it – Enjolras left his calendar open for crying out loud and he’s never been shy with his to-do lists. So he runs his finger along the long list of things Enjolras has done already and those he still has to do again today and feels awfully domestic, a dangerous feeling. 

Before he can find the paperwork, though, he finds something else. In Enjolras’ neat, unmistakable handwriting, it says,

Confront Grantaire

Grantaire blinks, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. That’s it – simply ‘Confront Grantaire’. 

There is no checkmark – of course not, Grantaire feels very unconfronted – but it’s there.

On a whim, Grantaire turns the page one day back to the extensive and long to-do list there. Check marks mar the paper everywhere but in one place: one item has been left unchecked.

Confront Grantaire

Like under a spell, Grantaire goes back the days and the to-do lists, and every day has the same unchecked item.

It seems his brain has stopped working because it takes him too long to figure out the obvious – Enjolras is trying to confront Grantaire.

Has been trying for what has got to be several weeks.

But…why?

It doesn’t take him quite as long to come to the obvious conclusion – Enjolras is trying to throw him out of the meetings.

This realization gives an unexpected stab to his heart – it’s not quite a shock, after all. Grantaire has expected something like this ever since he joined the meetings. He’s never been part of the group, just there to hang out with his friends, drink and drool over Enjolras. But the interruptions that have come with his presence have clearly made Enjolras decide that he was done with him – and now he doesn’t know how to tell Grantaire.

Grantaire’s head is spinning so fast, he feels like he has to sit down even though he’s already sitting. Instead, he takes another sip of his coffee, which runs down his throat like lead.

He wonders if Enjolras even needs flyers.

And with that, suddenly something clicks in his head – that’s why Enjolras asked him here for those flyers. Enjolras usually brings Combeferre with him on business concerning Les Amis. His absence makes sense – it’s a ruse to confront Grantaire and kick him out.

Making a split decision – he can’t sit there when Enjolras tells him all the reasons he’s a disruption or why Enjolras hates him, he can’t, he’ll cry – he calls over in the direction of the cash register, “’Chetta, something urgent came up. Uh, Éponine needs my help. Can you tell Enjolras to text me details concerning the flyers? Give him my apologies.”

And before Musichetta can ask anything else, Grantaire grabs his things and practically sprints out of the café.

He skips Tuesday’s meeting and drinks instead.

With a start, he realizes that this is the first meeting he’s skipped in, well, as long as he can remember. He’s had these surprising realizations several times in the last few years: his friends are all from the meetings, all he seems to be able to draw these days concerns the meetings – protests, Enjolras, his friends, Enjolras, meetings, Enjolras – and he’s even formed somewhat of a schedule around all of the activities he does with Les Amis.

But that he hasn’t skipped a meeting in so long? That they have come to be the highlight of his week?

Well, it’s not that surprising actually.

He only has shit vodka, so he mixes it with orange juice that smells a little off and together it tastes like a shit cocktail. And then he comes to another realization – he hates drinking alone.

A couple of years ago, he drank alone all the time. He hated showing other people just how much he relies on alcohol – that was before he realized he was a borderline alcoholic. But now, after he has made an effort to cut back on his drinking so far that he basically only does it in social situations – the alcohol feels useless.

No matter – he’s going to have to get used to it again, now that he’ll be alone. This shit cocktail is all he deserves.

The group chat from Les Amis blows up with questions when he doesn’t show up and it fills him with such warmth that couldn’t possibly come from the vodka – cheap stuff wouldn’t make you feel this good.

He texts back a reassuring yet slightly evasive text – ‘sorry, don’t feel so good, think I might have picked up a cold’, which means he gets lots of well-wishes and a ‘feel better soon’ poem from Jehan.

Enjolras stays silent. He hasn’t texted about those flyers. If there even is a need for flyers.

Grantaire chucks his phone onto his floor.

When he skips a second meeting, he knows he’ll have to come up with a better excuse. The ‘sick’ excuse is what he’s been using ever since the meeting to avoid all of Les Amis. It’s getting suspicious and he knows it.

This time, he doesn’t even have shitty alcohol to comfort him. He was going to go to the meeting and let Enjolras confront him, but in true R fashion, he chickened out at the last minute. It was so last minute that he forgot to buy alcohol.

Great.

His phone is in his bedroom so Grantaire can’t see any of the messages. He really just wants to go out and get a drink, but instead, he’s trying to sketch.

He’s on his third Enjolras sketch – habits are hard to break – and getting emotional even without a drink when there’s a knock on his front door.

It’s not a surprise – the meeting ended about half an hour ago and his friends probably want answers. With a sigh and feeling not-at-all ready, he gets up and opens the door.

Outside is Enjolras.

Grantaire blinks for a second, not entirely sure if this isn’t because that’s who he’s been sketching all this time and his mind is playing tricks on him, but no, it’s definitely him, in ripped jeans and his red jacket, his curls in a bun and wearing his usual righteous expression.

In one word, hot.

Grantaire is far too aware of the fact that he’s wearing pyjama pants that still has vodka stains from Tuesday as well as a wrinkled and faded shirt that says ‘I would bottom you so hard’ – something he hopes has faded enough for it not to be legible.

He leans against the doorframe. “What’s up, Apollo?” he asks, but he’s tired and it doesn’t come out with its usual rigor.

Enjolras makes a sweeping gesture, forever the speaker. “Can I come in?”

Grantaire shrugs, hoping it looks nonchalant and not scared shitless. “Sure.”

Enjolras strides into his apartment, taking a quick look around – the whole place is dirty and Grantaire would rather he not – and then comes to a stop beside his couch.

“You’ve stopped attending meetings,” he states, and Grantaire’s heart sinks. Of course Enjolras would get right to the point.

Instead of playing the – frankly stupid – sick excuse again, he just shrugs.

“Why,” Enjolras says, not really asking as much as demanding.

Grantaire looks away, first up at his ceiling, then toward the front door, then back at Enjolras. He’s steady, maintaining eye contact, as intense as he always is.

Grantaire swallows. This might be the last time he’s alone with his glorious Apollo.

Not his, never his.

“I saw your calendar,” he blurts out. “On Monday.”

Enjolras quirks an eyebrow and Grantaire realizes that doesn’t really help, so he tries again.

“I saw your calendar on Monday and on your to-do list, you… well, it said you wanted to confront me.”

Enjolras inhales sharply and abruptly. “Oh,” he says then, quiet.

“Yeah,” Grantaire says, nodding. He swallows and lets his eyes drop for just a second before looking back up at Enjolras. “I’ve… yeah. Sorry I looked. It’s private.”

Enjolras doesn’t even seem to register that. “So you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I – yes,” Grantaire says because he’s apparently honest today.

“Oh,” Enjolras says again, his brow furrowed. “I guess… I guess you don’t want… with me?”

That seems like an unnecessarily hurtful question. Obviously Grantaire doesn’t want to talk to Enjolras about getting kicked out of the meetings. “No, of course not.”

“I see.” Enjolras closes his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. “Okay.”

He looks vulnerable, even hurt, in a way that Grantaire hates. Does it really pain him that much that Grantaire comes to meetings?

“I won’t… I can change?” Grantaire offers. “I won’t… talk to you or engage you anymore, I swear. Just… I really want to keep coming to the meetings, see? That’s why I tried to avoid this conversation.”

The thought of not having Enjolras talk to him anymore hurts him, even if it is in blazing anger after another one of Grantaire’s contradictions, but he brushes it aside. He’d rather have that hurt now than never be able to go to another meeting. 

He’s loved Enjolras all this time from afar – maybe not engaging him would actually help him get over it.

Enjolras seems to barely hear him, which seizes Grantaire with blind panic. He needs to convince him that he deserves to be in the meeting, something he doesn’t himself believe half the time.

“I don’t know what I did or if it was just me specifically, but I’m sorry.” A new thought seizes him. Enjolras realized how he feels about him, and this is his answer. “And I won’t let my – feelings affect my behavior with you. I’ll do better.”

“Grantaire,” Enjolras says, interrupting his babbling. “Calm down. I won’t let your rejection affect my professional conduct. You can still come to the meetings. I’ll be – professional.”

The relief of this statement momentarily clouds his perception, and he’s already talking before he properly thinks. “Oh, thank you! I – wait. My rejection?”

“Yes,” Enjolras says, and only now does Grantaire notice the change in his demeanor. While before he was a steady force, he now seems a little messed up, avoiding eye contact and running his hands through his curls, seemingly forgetting that he still has a bun. As a result, his bun sits precariously, about to fall, and several strands of hair have fallen out of it and are framing his face in a fashion that really isn’t fair. “I won’t let the fact that you don’t feel the same way about me affect the meetings.”

Grantaire blinks and, mirroring Enjolras, runs his hands through his hair. “I – I don’t think I follow.”

“Oh come on!” says Enjolras, louder than before like the statement is tearing out of him. He runs his hand through his hair again and finally looks into Grantaire’s eyes again, his expression stormy. “This is already humiliating, do I have to really say it again? I know getting told by someone you like that they’re not interested is never easy, but you’re not being fair.”

“What?” Grantaire asks, this time completely incredulous. He means to continue with something like a follow-up question, anything really, but instead he just says, “What?” again, but a little louder.

“You heard me,” Enjolras says, but he looks a little less sure. “It’s not fair for you…”

“You’re interested in me? You like me?”

Now Enjolras looks less sure of himself than before. “Well, yeah. I told you that.”

Because Grantaire has nothing else to do, he sits down on his couch hard.

“Oh,” he says.

“You didn’t know?” Enjolras asks.

“No,” says Grantaire, still in his strange upside-down world where somehow Enjolras believes Grantaire has rejected him. Like he could ever.

“Oh,” Enjolras says, looking slightly horrified. “But you saw my to-do list and then you started avoiding me…”

“I – I thought you wanted to kick me out of the meetings.” It sounds kind of stupid now – but it all sounds stupid. They really are a bunch of idiots.

“We really are a bunch of idiots,” he informs Enjolras.

Enjolras’ mouth quirks, but then he grows serious. “Okay, so you didn’t know I liked you, but now you do. Now you know I like you, and I don’t know yet if I should keep feeling rejected.” He steps forward to where Grantaire is still sitting and sits down next to him, his expression more open and stark than he’s ever seen it. “Grantaire. R. Do you want to go out with me?”

Grantaire opens his mouth and closes it a couple of times, but nothing really comes out. Finally, he manages a “Yes please.”

Enjolras’ mouth quirks again, this time breaking into a big and bright smile that is usually reserved for political successes. It makes Grantaire’s heart break in the best way.

“Yes please?” Enjolras repeats, and yes, his shoulders are shaking.

“Shut up,” Grantaire says after he finally finds his voice, but he’s starting to laugh too. “Yes please, I like you back, so much, is that better?

And then Enjolras is leaning forward and Grantaire feels the smile, the special one, pressed against his mouth.

It takes him a second to catch up, given that he’s somehow still laughing, but so is Enjolras. Finally, they’ve calmed down enough to properly kiss. And oh, it’s good. So good.

“Well,” Enjolras says when after some time he’s found his way on top of Grantaire on the couch, his mouth making his way down Grantaire’s throat. His bun has completely dissolved, the hair tie probably somewhere next to the couch. “I know what I’m putting on my to-do list tomorrow.”

“Why wait?” Grantaire says, with much more clarity than he feels. “I’m a big fan of stopping procrastination.”

Enjolras laughs against his neck and Grantaire is a new man. “Not that, you pervert. I meant a date.”

“This isn’t a date?” Grantaire asks innocently, but it’s ruined by the fact that Enjolras sucks on his neck in the middle of his statement and it turns into a breathy moan.

“Mmm,” Enjolras says, coming back up to kiss him. “Does this count? I feel like I’ve got to kiss you some more for it to count. You know, so I can check that item off my list.”

“I’m all for productivity,” Grantaire says, but it’s lost against Enjolras’ lips.

**Author's Note:**

> To-do lists are great. Unrelated: if you liked this, leave me a comment.


End file.
